Heartbreak by rejection

The beginning of a new life, a baby is welcomed into the world

It is the day when the flittering eyes of a new-born open,

The eyes look around the room,

Seeking love and acceptance.

First cry is the beginning of an anthem

An anthem that says please love me, accept me

Should the mother not heed the cry,

The first painful memory is implanted into the soulheartbreak by rejection (broken heart)

The memory of heartbreak by rejection.

 

Childhood comes next with the hope of making something positive,

Positive and encouraging memories

But for me, I was caged, hurt and abused

With no knight in shining armour to the rescue.

A childhood so desolate, very broken,

Hell had left its gate open.

The man who sired me, checked out

He checked out of this rock planet going to a place I could not follow

My mind remembers, my heart is broken, my soul is crushed because

It was heartbreak by rejection.

 

I looked for friendships but friends eluded me

I looked for an embrace inside a thick fog, for somebody but found none

Why didn’t they love me?

Bullied, hurt and abused, living on the side-lines of a broken society

Alone, teenage years went by in a dark-tinted windowless cage of loneliness

My heart was broken,

It was heartbreak by rejection.

 

Do people care or I am just too blind to see it?

I am blind because tears are stinging my eyes

The salty taste is tying my tongue

How can I speak of the hurt and pain when the world tells me love is everything?

Is everyone loving and accepting, I wonder?

I go by limping from one leg to the other

Not grounded because pain consumes my soul

Due to heartbreak by rejection.

 

I found myself on a big ship of rejection issues

How I set sail or when I signed for this voyage? I do not know

The ship has a side port of low self-esteem and unworthiness

The anchor is tailing behind with bad memories

I sailed across the seas with vigor for what I have known all my life, rejection

Ah, there he was, the man who fits the bill,

The heartless soul, a pirate of the hearts,  looking for dying souls to crash

I had no skin, no defence, so vulnerable to what my heart knows best

My heart denies it but it lies

I married him, the man who would deliver what I know

Heartbreak by rejection.

 

Why does my soul cry?

Why does my heart conform to such pain?

Because I have not known anything else

But I vow to dock this ship of rejection forever

I am casting the anchor deeper than the ocean floor

Straight into the deepest gorge of the Mariana Trench

Because I refuse to be a broken vessel

Through heartbreak by rejection.

 

I go around, looking everywhere

I have entered the dark caves where bats live’

Yearning for someone, anyone to love me.

I may be broken but so is the door,

The keyhole is broken in the right places for the key

I am looking for my key

To be accepted, to quench the fiery flame of loneliness

So I can smile, knowing that I belong

I belong to someone who is caring and loving

I belong to a group

I belong to a new family of my own

Now the faltering heart with all its broken lines

Sputters into a new gear of life, believing I will be accepted

Because I will not die,

Die of heartbreak by rejection.